Peter Kay's Car Share - Adventures With My Car Share Buddies
by AlexJadeyy21
Summary: Follows on from that gorgeous ending when they were on the bus together where they are making a go of things - but obviously like all relationships the course of true love never runs smoothly - there will be fights, fall outs, make-ups and make outs, drunken antics, and maybe a swear word or two - so arse clowns strap yourselves in & get knee deep in John & Kayleigh's relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**Adventures with my Car Share Buddy**

The bus that John and Kayleigh were on had just arrived at the stop not too far away from Mandy's house. As John and Kayleigh departed the bus they were still hand in hand as they began their walk from the bus stop to our Mandy's.

Kayleigh had put the cassette player back into her bag as they'd both listened to John's song on repeat for most of the bus journey. When they eventually reached our Mandy's, they stood outside the house just gazing into each other's eyes for a while whilst blocking out the noise around them until it was interrupted by Steve revving his f'ing bike.

"Alright lovebirds!?", Steve shouted whilst still tinkering about with his bloody bike.

John & Kayleigh just ignored Steve's comment as John walked Kayleigh to the door.

"Here you go milady, back at your humble abode", John said in a posh accent causing Kayleigh to giggle.

"Why thank you Mr Redmond", Kayleigh replied back in a posh accent making John smile.

"Listen, I errrm, I", John stuttered

"What is it John, are you okay?", Kayleigh asked.

"Yeah, I was erm just wondering if you'd like to you know go on a date sometime, I mean you don't have to say yes but as you're like my girlfriend now I was thinking it would be a great idea", John said still a little unsure.

"Aww John! I'd love to go on a date with you, as long as you don't think were moving too fast, I'd hate to put pressure on my lovely boyfriend", Kayleigh answered still smiling from when John called her his girlfriend.

"Okay great!", John replied smiling, "I'll pick you up at 7:30 in the PM just dress casually", John told her as she laughed at the 'in the PM' part remembering the morning conversation when she looked like a Carol Decker tribute act.

"Great, I can't wait. Right I'm gonna get going but before I do just wait here a minute!", Kayleigh says before quickly running inside.

Kayleigh returns a minute later with an envelope. "This is the £140 for the lock I never paid you back for and £200 for you to recover your car", she stated pushing the envelope towards him.

"You don't need to pay me back for all of that", John said.

"Well they were both kind of my fault though", Kayleigh said looking towards the ground frowning.

"Hey, yeah you caused us to be hit by a bloody lorry but were both okay right and as for the lock I said it back then only you could get locked in your house, life's never dull with you – you're a crazy, funny sorry fluffy when drunk woman who I think the world of regardless if you want to adopt a bloody monkey or rescue hedgehogs on motorway's, so don't you be feeling guilty about it", John said reassuring Kayleigh.

Kayleigh just smiled at him – he always knew what to say to cheer her up.

"Okay as long as you're sure and I really do have to go now so I'll see you tomorrow?", Kayleigh said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to pick up the hire car before I drive to you but I should be here at the time I always pick you up – oh and by the way you can keep the cassette player cause no doubt you'll be having it on repeat", John said.

"You know me too well Johnathan", Kayleigh said before John leaned in for a kiss which Kayleigh reciprocated increasing in passion gradually.

Mandy started to wonder what was going on outside as she saw the door open and Kayleigh stood in the doorway.

"Bloody hell Kayleigh! Put him down you don't know where he's been!", Mandy said looking at her sister and John.

Kayleigh broke the kiss and replied, "Oh believe me Mandy I know where he's been", sounding a lot more sexual than she intended trying to pretend she never said it.

"I don't believe we've met I'm John", John said outstretching his hand.

"Oh so you're the famous 'gorgeous, amazing John that drives me to and from work every day' John", Mandy asked.

"Mandy! That was meant to be between us!", Kayleigh said looking slightly embarrassed as John just smiled at them both.

"Well I don't know about that but yeah I'm John", he answered.

"Ahh, glad to finally meet you, she hasn't shut up about you since the day she moved in here", Mandy said gesturing to Kayleigh.

"Right Mandy, I think you should let John get home as he's a very busy man", Kayleigh said trying to change the subject.

"I'll see you tomorrow John", Kayleigh said before kissing him on the cheek and stepping back into the house.

He waved at them before Steve offered John a lift home after hearing the conversation about the car.

\- NEXT DAY-

John was driving to Kayleigh's to pick her up for work. Singing along to 'She Drives Me Crazy' on Forver FM.

"Fine Young Cannibals. 1988", John said to himself whilst smiling.

# She drives me crazy

# like no one else

# she drives me crazy

# and I can't help myself

Yes, she bloody does John thought whilst chuckling himself.

[A BUNCH OF ADVERTS ARE PLAYING AS JOHN ARRIVES AT MANDY'S]

Kayleigh came running down the stairs putting her extensions in when she tripped over the strap of Chloe's school bag that was on the floor in front of the bottom step causing Kayleigh to fall over and almost rip the extension out of her hair.

"Oh shit! Ouch! Shit, shit, shit", Kayleigh said trying to get back up off of the floor.

"Aunt Kayleigh you're not allowed to swear its not a nice thing to do", Chloe said.

"Listen you'd be swearing if you'd just nearly ripped an entire chunk of hair out and next time move your bloody school bag!", Kayleigh shouted walking into the kitchen.

"And good morning to you too sis!", Mandy said handing her a cup of coffee.

"Oh don't you start!", Kayleigh replied.

"Not much of a morning person, are you?", Mandy asked whilst sipping her coffee.

"Whatever gave you that idea Mandy?", Kayleigh answered drinking the coffee whilst trying to tame the mane – known as her hair.

There was a knock at the door.

"Alfie answer the door please!", Mandy shouted to her son.

Alfie opened the door and John walked in.

"She's in there Uncle John!", Chloe said gesturing to the door.

"Tool!", Alfie said as John walked passed them making his way over to the kitchen.

"Shit Mandy keep John in the living room till I've sorted this!", Kayleigh said pointing to her hair.

"Relax Kayleigh, he's seen you in a worse state than this remember when you told me about the Carol Decker look alike incident" Mandy said trying so hard not to laugh.

"Oh, shut up and just tell him please!", Kayleigh shouted.

Mandy walked out of the kitchen and came to meet John.

"John, if you'd like to have a seat, Kayleigh won't be a minute she's just finishing getting ready", Mandy told John before finishing getting Alfie & Chloe ready.

"Aye, thanks love", John said before sitting down.

Kayleigh meanwhile was still in the kitchen still taming the mane and eventually getting somewhere whilst humming the song John wrote for her causing him to smile to himself.

After a few 'tweaks, ouches and oh shits' she had eventually finished, drank the remainder of her coffee, grabbed her bag and made her way out of the kitchen.

"Hi, thanks for waiting", Kayleigh said walking towards John.

"It's okay, I'm only this early because I had to pick up the hire car", he replied.

"Right shall we get out of here", Reckless Redmond!", she teased as she walked towards the door.

"You're in a good mood for once, you're not a morning person usually", John asked following her.

"You're the only reason for my good mood, if you'd have been here about 20 minutes ago you wouldn't have thought that", Kayleigh said walking out of the front door.

"What the bloody hell is that John?", Kayleigh asked looking at the hired vehicle.

"That sweetheart is a car, you put diesel in most of them and drive them", John answered her sarcastically.

"Yeah you're funny", Kayleigh said whilst laughing.

"I mean why is it that bloody small, yeah the Fiat was small but a Mini is even more smaller", Kayleigh said still re-living when John called her sweetheart.

"Look just get in grumpy!", John said trying to hurry her along.

"Right, are you gonna tell me why you're in such a bad mood?", John asked whilst Kayleigh fiddled with her nails.


	2. Chapter 2

"I had a phone call off of Kath Hilton that said Dave Thompson wants to speak to me this morning – so I'm not exactly on cloud 9 John", Kayleigh said on the verge of tears.

"Hey, come on maybe it's something good that's probably why he wants to see you", John said comforting Kayleigh the best he could whilst driving.

"Oh, be realistic John! he's an N-O-B head and you know it, plus to top it off I was getting ready this morning and was in a rush and as I ran down the stairs putting my extensions in I tripped over our Chloe's f'ing school bag and almost killed myself", Kayleigh answered.

"Ah, that explains you being in the kitchen earlier – you were trying to sort yourself out and any way you've always been clumsy", John said trying so hard not to burst out laughing.

"You dare laugh and I'll deck you Redmond!", Kayleigh said feistily.

"Oh yeah, you and who's army babe?", John said laughing at her as he pulled up at the lights.

"Shut up! You big gay mute!", Kayleigh answered laughing as well

"Alright if that's how you want to play it y' piss throwing psycho, you are so for it later Lady!", John said laughing.

"Diana!", Kayleigh replied making them both cry with laughter.

After eventually composing themselves Kayleigh turned the radio up which was playing 'Head Over Feet' by 'Alanis Morisette', which Kayleigh started singing along to.

# I had no choice but to hear you

# you stated your case time and again

# I thought about it

# You treat me like I'm a princess

# I'm not used to liking that

# you ask how my day was

The song carried on and Kayleigh was still singing along until John asked,

"Who's this?"

"I'm sorry what?", Kayleigh turned to face him it was comical how fast she turned her head.

"I said who is this cloth ears!", John repeated his question.

"Get out, get out right now!", Kayleigh joked "Get out I'll drive", Kayleigh added.

"What?", John said baffled.

"It's a good job I'm pigging sat down!. Frigadig I thought Johnathan Redmond the font of all music knowledge would know this. Its Alanis Morisette", Kayleigh said.

"Well I'm not so good when it comes to music that's shit!", John said.

"Shit? Johnathan Redmond! Alanis Morisette is one of the best artists ever!"

"Okay babe I believe you! Anyway, I love you because your you not because of the music you listen to", John replied not realising what he had said.

"I'm sorry what?", Kayleigh said shocked at what she thought she heard.

"I said I believe you!", John repeated.

"No after that bit", Kayleigh said.

"Oh, shit yeah that bit", John said realising what he had said.

"I said I love you because you're you and not because of your taste in music", John said reassuringly.

"Oh John! You finally said it!", Kayleigh shouted before leaning over and planting a kiss on John's cheek

"Bloody hellfire woman! I'm driving we don't want another car related incident", John said whilst smiling and shaking his head.

"Sorry bout that!", Kayleigh said laughing and returning to her place in the car whilst wiping the lipstick mark off John's cheek.

They arrived a short while later at work and Ted 2 had returned for a few months from Uni and was back to clearing away trolley's.

"I thought Ted had gone back to University I'll be having words with Barbara Bask", John said to Kayleigh who wasn't paying attention until she noticed Ted 2 was back.

[Imagine the song 'Talk Dirty' by Jason Derulo is playing on Forever FM in the background]

"Look at him, what does he think he's doing tying those trolleys to that post", John said annoyed at Ted 2.

"He can tie me to a post anytime he likes", Kayleigh said in a 'Ted Daze' as John would describe it.

John cleared his throat, "Hi, I'm John, your living boyfriend", John said making sure Kayleigh was aware he could see her.

"Hmm…yeah sorry", Kayleigh said before giggling and sighing.

"What's Ted 2 got that I haven't then eh?", John asked curious.

"A high vis jacket?", Kayleigh said quite cleverly.

"Good answer", John said before laughing.

"Look babe, Ted 2's only a fantasy figure, you know that person you know it's never gonna happen with – like a celebrity John", Kayleigh explained.

"You said you wouldn't climb over Hugh Grant for a piss and he is a celebrity", John said slightly annoyed.

"Well no matter how beautiful Ted 2 is to look at, I'd definitely climb over him for a piss – you're ten times the man Ted will ever be", Kayleigh said reassuringly.

"What am I getting myself into eh?", John replied before kissing Kayleigh on the cheek.

"I thought you don't fraternise with your staff Mr Redmond?", Kayleigh said teasing him.

"Well I suppose I can make an exception for you", John replied.

"Ooh what did you have in mind?", Kayleigh said seductively before giving John one of her infamous winks.

"Good, old fashioned hard work, come on get a wriggle on", John answered laughing.

"Killjoy!, I thought we were gonna be late back", Kayleigh replied getting out of the car.

"Well what if we go out somewhere for lunch later?", John suggested innocently which put some really filthy ideas in Kayleigh's head.

"Ooh Johnathan, you naughty boy", Kayleigh replied before kissing him in the door way as discretely as possible.

"Right little miss smut, it really is time for you to be working", John answered as he broke the kiss.

"Okay I'll see you later Mr Loverman", Kayleigh whispered as she walked further into the building. "Oh and grab some of those 'non-baby wipes' as you call them", she added from down the corridor.

"That woman's gonna be the death of me", John said to himself as he ran back to his car to get the 'non-baby wipes' that are just bloody wipes.


	3. Chapter 3

John had a few meetings with Alan Campbell & Kath Hilton so didn't have much time to see Kayleigh through the morning. Kayleigh had been promoting the new products she had been given last week, she does enjoy her job, even if she acts like she hates it most of the time.

The day had just been a drag mostly, Kayleigh had her meeting with Dave Thompson that she definitely wasn't looking forward to, John had been dealing with a stack of paperwork from head office all afternoon and the phone hadn't stopped bloody ringing. In the end they didn't have time to meet for lunch they were both that busy.

John was walking towards his car when he got a call off Kayleigh.

"Hiya John, just give me a few minutes and I'll be out", Kayleigh said whilst changing into the clothes she kept in her locker.

"Why what you doing? Waiting for your loverboy?", John replied teasingly.

"Yeah, Ted 2's just popped in for a quickie... I'm joking you idiot, I'm just getting dressed", Kayleigh replied.

"Dressed?", John asked baffled.

"Yeah, you know that thing people do everyday with clothes", Kayleigh answered sarcastically.

"Alright smart arse, where did you get your clothes from?", John asked.

"I keep a few in my locker for when I have dates after work, saves me going back home, right gonna hang up whilst I put my shoes on – will be there in 5 I promise", Kayleigh told John before hanging up.

20 minutes later Kayleigh finally emerged. John was sat playing on his phone whilst waiting for her, he looked up from his phone and said;

"Funny 5 minutes"

"Alright calm down, I had to reapply my make up and it took forever as one of me false eyelashes wasn't cooperating", Kayleigh explained.

John just shook his head as if to say "only you babe".

Kayleigh had put her seatbelt on and John started the engine.

"Right you ready to go on this date?", John said putting the car into gear.

"Hell yeah after the day I've had", Kayleigh said.

"Oh yeah what happened with Dave?" John asked referring to their conversation in the car before work.

"Well he asked me to see him in his office and then f'in bollocked me for covering for Elsie the other week when she had to go somewhere , I mean its not like I couldn't handle it he just said in his bloody Scottish accent or whatever accent it is "You don't leave a junior promotions rep like Dean on the promotions station alone, when he doesn't know what he's doing and you don't cover for people", then I said to him "Well its not like you've never got anyone to cover up for you – I know you've had people like Litchy & Mr Campbell cover for you". Kayleigh said eventually finishing.

"Why'd you say that to him for? You're lucky he didn't bloody go up the wall", John shouted at her.

"He did! – I knew you'd take his side you're unbelieveable", Kayleigh shouted clearly in a huff with John.

"I'm not taking his side – I'm just trying to see both sides of the situation", John reasoned whilst Kayleigh was still not listening to him.

The radio carried on playing in the background. The silence between them both was broken by John.

"Look, I'm sorry I shouted – its just been a stressful day", John said before pulling into a car park of their date venue.

Kayleigh still didn't react to him.

"I'm sorry my car share buddy, please don't stay mad at me, I'm sorry my car share buddy, I'll make it up to you", John made up the little song on the spot causing Kayleigh to smile at his goofiness.

"Those aren't the words John", she answered smiling at him.

"Well it got you to answer me didn't it?", John said laughing.

"That it did, and I accept your apology John you idiot", Kayleigh replied smiling and gazing into his eyes.

"Right you ready to go inside?", John asked.

"Yeah, what is this place anyway?", Kayleigh asked intrigued whilst exiting the car.

"I asked your Mandy if you'd ever been to one of these places before and I wanted to take you out on a date that no other boyfriend had ever thought of before. Also she mentioned this was on your bucket list", John said as they were walking towards the entrance of the building hand in hand with Kayleigh.

Kayleigh read the sign when they eventually got there 'Pellet Gun Shooting Range'.

"Oh my god yes this is on my bucket list, aww John I can't believe you thought to choose this, I love you!", Kayleigh said before kissing him at the door.

"Alright there's plenty of time for that – lets get going in, I'm excited too".

They eventually went inside the building.


	4. Chapter 4

Once John and Kayleigh eventually got into the building they had got kitted out with a sash type item attached to a belt that held the pellet gun and the bullets - a bit like in a western film and headphones that blocked out the gun shots but you could hear conversation. They were now stood in the booth looking towards the target.

"Right so what we have to do is stand with our feet apart, point the gun out towards the target, relax our bodies and shoot", John said making it sound so easy.

"Okay", Kayleigh said trying to grasp what to do.

Kayleigh was stood correctly and took a shot that recoiled slightly and made her almost fall back till John caught her.

"Wow, that was so good", Kayleigh said still full of adrenaline.

"Yeah babe it was but you missed the target", John told Kayleigh.

"Well you take a shot if you think you can hit the target", Kayleighs said challenging John.

John took a shot and got it right in the centre of the target.

"Beginners luck Johnathan", Kayleigh said slightly annoyed.

"Look I'll help you with the next one okay", John said reasoning with her.

John put his arms round Kayleigh and held the gun out in front of her whilst stood behind her helping.

"Okay relax, annnnd shoot!", John said as she pulled the trigger they were both holding onto.

"There you go! Right keep going!", John encouraged her.

"Go on babe, pretend the target is Dave Thompson!", John shouted as Kayleigh held her finger down on the trigger.

She kept on going till she ran out of her first lot of pellets. When she had finished shooting the crap out of the target she unravelled herself from John and was relieved.

"That was shamazing John", she said excited and putting the gun back into the holster sash belt thing.

"You did so well!", John replied whilst he was in the middle of shooting at the target.

He stopped to give his hand a rest and put his gun back into his holster sash belt.

"John this was the best idea for a date, you're so amazing, I love you", Kayleigh said leaning into John for a kiss that was getting quite passionate causing hands to roam. As there bodies became closer Kayleigh's gun went off.

John stopped the kiss and started to jump up and down on one leg whilst shouting fucking hell.

"John, what's happened?", Kayleigh asked surprised at John who was in so much pain.

"You shot me in the foot when we were kissing! Why didn't you put the safety switch on?", he shouted to her whilst still in agony.

"I didn't know it had a safety switch John! Anyway lets put our guns on the panel in front of us and let's get you sat down", Kayleigh said.

John sat down and was still in a lot of pain. They informed the staff who were going to phone for an ambulance.

"An ambulance will take forever! They always do!", John shouted in pain.

"Alright well I'll walk you to the car and I'll drive you to the hospital", Kayleigh said helping John walk to the car with help from one of the company's employees.

"You're not driving the car! Remember what happened the last time you drove!", He shouted as Kayleigh helped him into the passenger seat.

"For gods sake John I'm not gonna make the same mistake twice am I", Kayleigh shouted before shutting the door.

Kayleigh got into the driver's seat and began to drive to the hospital whilst John was still in agony.

"This is a bad idea!", he stated as Kayleigh pulled up at the lights.

"Look its quicker than waiting for a pigging ambulance!", Kayleigh replied.

Kayleigh drove through the lights and gradually got faster causing John to panic even more.

"Have you got any pain killers in your bag?", John asked hoping she'd have some even though she doesn't put chemical toxins into her body.

"Have a look", Kayleigh said before taking her eyes off the road to reach behind to the back seat to grab her hand bag and throw it onto Johns knee.

The car swerved a little as she moved back to facing the wheel

"The road Kayleigh! Watch what you're doing you're gonna end up killing us both!", John shouted whilst searching her handbag. "And bloody slow down!", he added.

"John, stop being such a baby! Look im trying to get you to hospital as quick as possible - I'm doing my best!", she shouted

They carried on arguing till Kayleigh pulled into the hospital car park.

"Right we're here and in one piece" Kayleigh said still fuming at John.

She got out and helped him out of the car, locked the car and helped him walk to the hospital entrance.


	5. Chapter 5

Kayleigh and John were sat in A & E and Kayleigh went up to the desk to book John in.

"Hi, my boyfriend has a pellet gun bullet lodged in his foot", Kayleigh told the reception desk.

"Right could you fill out this form please and take a seat we normally use the computer to find patients but due to a technical fault on all our computers we have to do it via paper documents", the receptionist told Kayleigh who nodded and went back to John who was still in a lot of pain as he never did find any painkillers in Kayleigh's bag, just a few creme eggs which wouldn't help him right now.

"Right I've got to fill out this form thingy", Kayleigh said anger still evident in her voice.

"What do you mean form? You're supposed to use those tablet thingy's", John replied.

"Yeah well, apparently they are broken so its back to old school", Kayleigh told John.

John just nodded his head.

"Okay it's asking for full name, so is it just John Redmond or do you have a middle name?", Kayleigh asked.

"I do but its pretty embarrassing so I rarely use it", John answered

"Come on it can't be that bad!, what is it?", Kayleigh asked

"Its Hryy", John mumbled

"What sorry I didn't catch that?", Kayleigh pushed John for his answer

"Its Hillary okay!, so now you know", John told her whilst still embarrased.

"Really? Hillary?", Kayleigh asked a little judgemental

"My mum was a fan of Hillary Clinton and figured it could be a unisex name so put it as my middle name", John explained.

Kayleigh was trying so hard not to laugh but her face had other ideas

"Right the next question is Date Of Birth", Kayleigh asked after she had eventually stopped laughing.

"13th July 1974", John answered.

"Cause of Accident?", Kayleigh said next.

"Girlfriend is a bloody liability?, John said causing him a glare from Kayleigh

"Just put pellet gun", he said quickly changing his answer.

She carried on filling out the form and handed it back to the receptionist leaving them with a 2hr wait.

Kayleigh had spent John's operation time sat in the waiting room reading Cosmo. She was stopped halfway through an article titled '10 ways to go all 50 Shades on your man' when John came limping back into the waiting room where she put down the magazine to go and help him.

"Hiya, they managed to get it out without any complications - which is bloody lucky", John said looking at Kayleigh.

"Well let's get going home its pretty late and we've been here for ages John", Kayleigh said putting John's arm round her neck and supporting him as they walked to the car.

"Well if you didn't shoot me in the foot then we wouldn't have been here and i wouldn't be in a lot of pain", John answered.

"Oh stop being such a baby you got shot in the foot it wasn't like you were in a life or death situation", Kayleigh replied laughing slightly.

"They gave me a plaster! Hospitals don't issue plasters unless its medically necessary - that is the law Kayleigh", John replied jokingly.

"Let's get you in the car John", Kayleigh said shaking her head smiling.

"Look before we set off I want to ask you something", Kayleigh said suddenly getting all serious.

"What is it babe?", John asked sympathetically.

"Are you upset with me for shooting you in the foot - because I can't help but feel guilty about it", Kayleigh said looking down at her feet.

"Look I know I was teasing you about it but seriously I'm okay, put it one way its hell of a story for a dinner party", John replied causing Kayleigh to glare at him.

"I'm joking this will stay between us babe. This and the safari bunking off work day - I'll take them to the grave I promise", John said sincere.

"Okay - I do love you you know", Kayleigh said now smiling at John.

"I know and I love you too even if you are a bloody liability!", John answered as Kayleigh started the car.


	6. Chapter 6

Kayleigh drove back to our Mandy's with John in the passenger seat due to him being on crutches. As they were driving down the road Kayleigh turned to John and said

"I've got an invitation to Donna's hen party at a club in Town - so I'm gonna be partying with them including god forbid Elsie"

"Oh right what club and when babe?", John asked intrigued.

"Its called The Birdcage, it's in Manchester and its tomorrow evening at 10pm", Kayleigh answered smiling now and happy they weren't arguing for once - god they could make a greatest hits album of arguments they've had as friends and as a couple.

"Okay but I'm gonna take you and pick you up afterwards" John said looking out at the road.

"You sure you're gonna be okay to drive to and from the club, you know with how much your foot is hurting", Kayleigh said mockingly.

"I'll be fine plus you wont' be able to stand up let alone walk by the end of the night also like you said it's not like it was a life or death situation", John reasoned laughing a bit.

"Okay as long as you're sure John", Kayleigh replied smiling.

They had finally got back to Our Mandy's and John had walked Kayleigh to the door and said good night before kissing her and then making his way back to his car. The following morning was a drag when both John and Kayleigh got to work. She'd been promoting some new superfoods for a healthy diet all morning and was thoroughly bored until her morning got better when John approached her - she immediately lit up smiling at him which made John really happy that he had that effect on her.

"Hi Kayleigh, I need a chat about the Christmas Team in my office in 5 minutes if you could leave Dean on here for a bit please", John asked trying to remain professional considering no-one at work knew they were actually dating - even though they were talk of the shop already.

"Of course Mr Redmond I'll just go and tell Dean", she said as she winked at John before walking towards Dean.

John walked back to his office whilst Kayleigh was getting Dean to cover her for a few minutes. She eventually got to Johns office and knocked on the door.

"Come in", he said getting up from his desk.

As she opened the door he pulled her in pushed her against the door and kissed her socks off whilst locking the door. After they had finished there snogging session and the need for air became more urgent they broke apart and John said

"Sorry I couldn't resist, have a seat I need to talk to you", John asked gesturing towards his desk.

Kayleigh looked at him worried but still sat down at his desk followed by John going to sit at the other side facing her.

"Right on your lunch break I want you to take this, John began taking out his wallet and pulling out his card, and I want you to go and get yourself a lovely new outfit and a pair of shoes and of course a new handbag for this hen party tonight", John said passing the card to her.

"Oh my god John, I can't do that, it's your money and that's not the reason I love you, you could be skint and I'd still love you", Kayleigh said not wanting John to think she was just after his money even though people think thats what it must be.

"No I insist, text me when you're about to pay and I'll text you back my pin as its not contactless", John replied.

"Okay thank you John, I really do love you, I best put this in my locker till lunch and I'll see you soon yeah?", Kayleigh said getting up from her seat and walking towards John.

"Yep definitely", John replied before kissing Kayleigh.

She left his office, put his bank card in her locker and got back to Dean at the promotions counter.

"Did you get what you wanted I mean needed from Mr Redmond?", Dean said trying to stifle a laugh.

"Yeah I got the christmas team sorted as that needed doing thanks for covering Dean", Kayleigh said still not picking up on Deans laughter.

"No problem Kayleigh he said smiling and walking away.

The day pretty much dragged from then on - John had taken some painkillers as his foot was in a little pain after walking about the store sorting out deliveries. Kayleigh went out at lunch and was deciding between two dresses a red sparkly classy number or a little black dress - she preferred the red one but it was a little pricier than the black one about £100 more to be completely honest. She texted John and he told her to get the red dress as he didn't mind then texting her 'god women are bloody expensive' teasing her on his text messages. She laughed at his use of emojis and his message and went to find some matching shoes and 20 minutes and 36 pairs of shoes later she had finally made her decision and went to pay.

\- MANY HOURS LATER -

He picked her up from Our Mandy's and opened the passenger side door like a gentleman for her.

"Thank you taxi driver", she said winking at him before getting into the car.

"Cheeky bitch!", he said gettin in the other side and laughing at her.

"Sorry..thank you Mr Redmond", Kayleigh said smiling at him.

"You look absolutely amazing", he said taking in her appearance.

"Thanks, I'm not sure myself and oh you've just reminded me, here's your bank card back" she said handing the card to him.

"Believe me you're gonna be the most beautiful woman in the room tonight, who am I kidding you're the most beautiful woman in every room", he says taking his card from her and dreading the bill that he's gonna get in a few weeks.

"Thank you John!", she says before grabbing his face and planting a long soppy kiss on it.

"Give over woman, you'll make me crash", he said blushing slightly.

"You can't say something that lovely and not expect a reward", Kayleigh replied.

"Well maybe you can repay me later", he said before flashing her a wink.

Kayleigh just laughed and smiled.

"Mr Redmond you naughty boy", she said laughing with filthy ideas in her head.

After a bunch of traffic lights they finally arrived outside the club.

"The girls told me to meet them at the bar", Kayleigh said taking off her seatbelt.

"Right, when the party has finished - text me and I'll come and pick you up, stay safe, I love you", John said before she kissed him and then got out of the car and waved at him as he drove off.

Kayleigh made her way into the club after about 10 minutes of queuing and loctaed Donna and the other hens at the party. She bought a round of tequila shots and then danced to One Step Further, Get This Party Started and many other songs. She had bought some very expensive champagne and drank it straight from the bottle.

"Bloody hell Kayleigh! You're on a mission tonight Donna told her followed by Diane and Elsie just staring at her.

"I don't know what you're papping on about Do..Donna", Kayleigh said after taking a large swig of champagne followed by her burping a little bit.

By about midnight, they were all drunk but not as much as Kayleigh was. There had been an incident outside the club and a few police officers had gone inside to make sure everything was okay. One of the officers made there way to the group of hens who were still drinking including a very fluffy drunk Kayleigh.

"OOh Donna, you've not ordered a stripogram have you?, Kayeigh said laughing and swaying from side to side. Whilst this was happening Maneater by Nelly Furtado started playing and Kayleigh started dangling off the officers arms trying to get him to dance for them. The officer had a look of Jake Gyllenhal about him.

"Kayleigh you're gonna get in trouble stop, I mean he has handcuffs and a truncheon for gods sakes", Diane said.

"Ooh handycuffs, you can handycuff me to you anytime you like Officer Handsome.

"Its Hanson", the Officer replied slightly annoyed.

"No no no you must be mistakenly there they sang that MmmBoppy song", Kayleigh said laughing and dancing around the officer whilst still clinging onto him.

"Kayleigh he has a truncheon be careful", Donna said before hiding her laughter behind her champagne glass.

Kayleigh took another long swig of champagne.

"Ooh Officer Handsome is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me", Kayleigh said winking at him but failing big time.

Girls by Calvin Harris started playing in the background and Kayleigh started to clamber onto the bar and started to dance ridiculously on the table.

"Right Miss, I'm gonna have to ask you to get down please, you're causing disruptions and also you could badly hurt yourself", the Officer said seriously.

Kayleigh just ignored him and carried on dancing on the bar until she slipped on the champagne she spilt, fell off the bar and landed at the feet of the Officer. Kayleigh held onto the Officer pulling herself up and laughing whilst the other hens were dancing on the dancefloor and keeping an eye on Kayleigh.

When she fell Kayleigh knocked off bottles of expensive wine, a few expensive glasses and broke one of the beer pumps after trying to use it as a microphone.

"Right I'm arresting you for being drunk and disorderly and for Criminal Damage, you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something you later rely on in court, anything you do say may be given in evidence", Officer Hanson said as he placed the cuffs on Kayleigh. As he escorted Kayleigh out of the door she shouted "ooh look Elsie do you like my new bracelets".

When they got outside another officer had opened the Car door and Officer Hanson had to help her into the car, as she lifted her foot into the car she was still gripping the bottle of champagne and she fell off the pavement and landed on the Officer.

"For gods sakes, get in the bloody car!", Officer Hanson said still annoyed after being mistaken for a stripogram.

As they got to the station Kayleigh was at the front desk still in handcuffs. "Please can I call my boyfriend he will want to know why I'm ot waiting for him to pick me up and why you put handycuffs on me", Kayleigh said still slurring her words.

"Okay one phone call", Officer Hanson said before taking off one of the cuffs and attaching it to him.

It was about 3am when John got a call from a severely drunk Kayleigh. "Hiya babe, I just want to say I love youuu and that I will need you to pick me up from the custody station tomorrow", Kayleigh told a very sleepy John.

"Custody station?, why are you there what've y' done now", John said slightly annoyed.

"I've been charged with unlawful dancing and something about colourful damage", Kayleigh said.

"Right I'm gonna come and pick you up", John told her.

"He's coming to pick me up Officer Handsome", Kayleigh said to the officer she was attached to.

"Okay phone time is over, you can go and sleep this off in one of the custody cells while you wait for your boyfriend", Officer Hanson said before taking the phone and other possessions off Kayleigh - her bag & coat etc.

He took the cuffs off her and she fell onto the 'bed' in the custody cell and passed out. John was still on his way to the police custody station in Manchester at 3:30 in the am - he'd been staying at his brothers place in Wigan whilst he was helping out with Ben & Sophie so it was a good 1 hour drive to the custody station.

He had the radio on faintly in the background and Jailhouse Rock started playing - John was laughing and smiling to himself as he thought about the woman he loved, the bloody gorgeous liability of his being arrested whilst fluffy drunk.


End file.
